Day 21: In the groove

25 Apr

Wow, it’s hard to believe that I am now officially into week 4 of studying. I still have 4 weeks left, thankfully, as I have cancelled my trip to Paris and pushed back my test date. Yes, I gave up the City of Lights for the Step 1, but I honestly don’t feel that bad about it. Paris will be there, but the Step 1 only comes once. After doing the minimum in every class for 2 (well, 3) years, I am ready to really give this my all.

I have found it to be true though, that with everything you do (really, everything, whether it be writing a book or aiming to be a professional volleyball player), you just need to START. Because when you start, you will figure out along the way what you need to do to get there .When I first began studying for the boards, or even when I started thinking about what I needed to do, I was immediately freaked out about how much material there was and trying to figure out how much and what I would have to do to get there. Now that I am in the groove of studying and know what I need to do on a day to day basis, that innocent unknowing seems to be way behind me.

The biggest challenge, I’ve found, is not the setting up of schedule or even the material, but rather the work it takes to block out all the negative thoughts in my head and depressing those freakouts as gracefully as I can. I’m aware that I’m an anxious person as it is, as calm as my demeanor is. But I’m not an anxious person in that I am shaking or having panic attacks, I’m the type of thinker who attacks a situation/scenario from all possible angles (good, bad and everything in between) so sometimes the bad possibilities freak me out.

However, I have found 2 super important and great solutions to these freak-outs, which I need to remind myself of every morning:

1. Accept uncertainty.

2. Challenge negative thoughts.